Last night me and Mel went to the gym for a nice long work out. It was great to run again! I didn't make the best time but it has been a while since I've ran so I shouldn't be too hard on myself. My abs and arms are killing me today from the weights and stretching we did. It was fun though. It's so much easier to work out when you have a friend with you. We decided to train to do a half marathon sometime this fall so I'm pretty pumped for that. Hopefully we can succeed! My health is always a(n) concern/issue but I know my limits and I've been doing good.
Today, when I was sitting in my mom's room, she looked at me and said, "You're looking very thin. Have you been throwing up again?" I was offended. I don't understand why she would ask that. I've come so far in the past year. For her to question it was a bit insulting. I know she didn't mean to upset me. But she sort of did. I mean, I still struggle with self-image from time to time (like every girl) but I rarely slip up and, truthfully, I'm generally happy and content about my physical appearance. I'm not going to get cocky here because we all know that pride is the best way to make you slip, but I've been pretty solid lately. I still don't get as many calories in as I'm supposed to be getting probably. But it's honestly not intentional. Sometimes I'm just so busy I don't make time to eat meals. Other times when I do eat, I get full really fast. I'll admit I've purged maybe once in the past month but normally I don't even think about it. I understand she worries and my eating disorder consumed a large portion of my life, but can't she see how much things have changed?
Another quick rant about my mother. Don't get me wrong I love my mother to death but some times she just plain old drives me nuts! Last weekend I went out with that guy, right? Well I told her a bit about him and that I think I may like him. He goes to our church and, for some reason, I said who his grandparents are. Keep in mind I hadn't showed her a picture of him or told her his name. This morning I left for Madison with Melanie and her mom before noon so I didn't go to church. I got a text from him saying, "I met your mom." My first reaction was panic. I asked him how and he replied at church. I immediately dialed my dearest mother's number. Apparently, she figured out who he was based on the fact that he was sitting with his grandparents. And - the best part - she went up to him and introduced herself. We hung out once. I haven't been dating him, we're not in a long-term relationship, and I'll be TWENTY YEARS OLD in less than two months. I don't get it. If I was away at college she wouldn't even know if I was hanging out with someone or not. He didn't think it was creepy and/or awkward (at least that's what he said) so that's a good thing. The more I think about it, the more ticked I get. So I better stop thinking about it. It's almost eight. Better get ready for bed and get some shut eye. I'm trying to quit my sleeping pills and that's not going too well.
Mother just said, "shut your windows. A tornado may be coming." Maybe I should quit my pills tomorrow night or I'll be up worrying.
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