No thanks, no mind altering subsatnces for me

The girl who signed up for that dating site texted me saying she was talking to a really nice guy. She told me his name. And my jaw literally dropped. What are the chances? He has a common name, only it's spelt different than usual. I asked where he's from. It has to be him, I thought to myself. Sure enough, she was talking to my first "boyfriend" from way back freshman year of high school. Note - I use the term boyfriend lightly. He was psycho. At one point, he held my teddy bear up to a knife. He was very pressuring when it came to physical things. Also, I remember him telling me about how he was carving my name into his arm. I remember hearing about how he was in prison a year or so ago from a mutual acquaintance. I decided to a background check. (Thank you, Wisconsin, for making this so easy to see someone's criminal record.) In 2008 he got in trouble for drug paraphernalia and THC. Then, he got in trouble for manufacturing/delivering cocaine. He went to prison for a year, probation for four. In 2009, after he was out, he got in trouble yet again for THC.


What to do? Well, I called her. I asked if she did a background check. (Seeing as it's an online dating site, she really should have done one.) She said no. I said maybe she should. Then I told her. I told her about his background and then said, "the reason I know this is because I dated him". And she laughed. Now she doesn't know what to do. She'll be 21 in August, never had a boyfriend. She's desperate.  

I don't understand why girls feel incomplete without a man. Actually, yes. I do understand, sort of. I'll admit - I, like many girls - have a desire to be accepted and loved, from a male. I think we've all been there at one point or another.

But the thing is, I realize that until I'm happy with myself, I won't be happy with anyone else. It's saddening to see so many young people wasting their time looking for someone, anyone. So many young people, it seems females in particular, are living with a black hole in their heart. Me, included. There's so much pressure. So much hunger and longing. To be loved. To be accepted. To be perfect. To be desired, wanted, and lusted. There's fear of being alone. That you'll never find "the One". There's impatience. There's the "I'll never be good enough" mind set. Why is this? I can't answer that, but what I do know is this...

The only thing, the only One, who can fill that void is God. Without Him, you'll never know love. You'll never comprehend what love really is. Because God is love. God is everything good. If you're separated from God, which is everything good, how are you supposed to be connected to love? It's impossible. So, now you're probably scratching your head and wondering, "if God is love, what is love?" It's patient. Kind. It doesn't envy. Or boast. It's not prideful. It doesn't dishonor others. Not selfish, or easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong, doesn't delight in evil. And it protects, hopes, and perseveres. (Check out 1 Corinthians 13) I think one important word is missing out of that verse. Sacrifice.

Jesus was the ultimate act of love. Sacrifice. No other act will ever compare to that. Until one can accept that, believe it, and follow after God, I'm not sure there can be such a thing as love. I'm saying all this for the benefit of myself. It's time to fall in love with Jesus.