Today I was driving down the highway, on my way to my history class (where I should be right now - but it's okay. E-mail works wonders), when I moved into the left lane so another car could merge onto the highway. Well, I ended up being surrounded by semi-trucks and I just couldn't make it back into the right lane to get off on my exit. So, I took a detour. And on that detour I somehow managed to take out a bird. Possibly even two. I'm not sure. I didn't even think it was possible to do such a thing. My windshield has bird juice on it now and feathers are stuck in the hood of my car. Delightful. Needless to say, I was late. And I was not in the mood for any other misfortunes.
I didn't want to go to class anyways.
Even though I'm not feeling well (headache, stomach ache, sore throat, irritability) I decided to go to the gym anyways because working out always calms me. I ran/walked five miles! In an hour. For me not feeling the best, that's a pretty good time. I listened to music, watched some ESPN, and concentrated on one thing: to not stop running. And I did feel a little better after my work out. I got off the treadmill feeling lighter, rejuvenated, clean, and most of all: exhausted. I love that exhausted feeling after a good work out.
My eating disorder has been a challenge lately, and I don't know how come. I haven't had issues in what seems like forever. Today I ate a cinnamon roll for breakfast and drank some apple juice. For lunch I had Subway (my usual, 6 inch salami and turkey on wheat with lettuce, black olives, and mayo). I didn't eat dinner. Honestly though, I just haven't had much of an appetite. I've been so on edge lately that I couldn't even go to one of my classes the other day. I've been anxious, stressed, and even some-what depressed. What is going on?!
Maybe it's "that-time-of-the-month". Let's hope that's all it is, anyways. I do tend to get pretty emotional around that time.
It probably doesn't help that I haven't been taking my medication, either. I know I should and it's not even that I mind taking it. I just... don't take it. I can tell a difference when I don't take them. Another problem with my current medication is that it's also used for narcolepsy and I already have troubles sleeping.
Anyways. I'm also confused about "the boy". I just looked back on our text conversation, and he first texted me on March 22nd, which means we'll have been talking for a month tomorrow. Our first date was April 1st. It's accurate to say that I've developed a fairly significant crush on "the boy".
1. He's a Christian. (Most important!)
2. He loves baseball and football. (Very important as well.)
3. He is intelligent.
4. He can make me laugh... even over text message.
5. He is well mannered and polite.
6. He likes to actually do things and go places.
7. He is physically attractive.
8. He is kind to me.
But still, I'm at a cross in the road. And I'm not sure what to do. Plus, what if he decides he doesn't like me like that? See, this is another thing I worry about. Ugh! Am I really ready for any sort of relationship or commitment?
I need to trust God. He brings people into our lives for a reason. It's simple to say, "I trust You", but it's so hard to live that out. No matter who leaves me, no matter who hurts me, and even if I lose everyone and everything in my life - I'll always have God. Note to self: this world is temporary. God is ever lasting.
This post is long enough for one night and I'm starting to get sleepy.
I'll leave this off on a good note - it's Friday tomorrow! (Insert yips of joy here).
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